I almost died - my heart

- from writing that batshit.  Just forgive me.  I can blame it on others.  I will still tend to it, but don't go insane because it's not life or death.  You can't go crazy about something like that.  I can't repeat it.  That is an example of going crazy or maybe excited to make fun of me when it's no one's business.  I'm not saying you can't be upset, but it might be too stressful.  Don't like go over crazy repeating it and stereotypical things to yourself.  All I had to do was be sorry, but others never are.  It's not literally hurting someone.  What I did might, but something funnier about it is it seems that the defendent might do something like it anyway.  It's dangerous if you think about this a lot.  You shouldn't even know.  If you did it's okay, but it's one of those times that seems quieter.  I don't know why I kept feeling the suggestion of these bad things so long.  If something is in my head, I have no intent to blurt it out.  So I am really sorry.  Wow I wonder if I will need a neck brace.  So I'm sorry, don't be violent.  Why don't you bring it up rather than hold it over me like someone immature?  I won't bring it up.  You should accept.  There is nothing to discuss.  My understanding is it's something that you don't care about saying about others.  I just am sorry and feel I am innocent in that I just thought no one would read it.  They would see it and leave because no one answers me neither like that.  I'm just concerned about people going crazy seeing what they can do with it.  I can't say something I don't approve of.  No one could have seen.  Why not answer me?  Rather than always holding a grudge.  You have to accept the apology rather than worship the sin.  The sin is me.  So as for me though I feel bad, but I think nothing will happen because I am pretty nice and not the causnig problem.  They have real problems out there, people.  Well okay let's see what happens after I go thru this and just keep feeling more and more and more to say.  I feel a little better because thoughts were getting crazy.  I just need not to say things people call bad but do anyway when I don't and don't do it unless it's in a cute snob sorta way.  I don't like doing that, sometimes think it's right, fun, not to picky nor apprehensive.  Etc.  You have to get things out in the right way.  I see no need to get anything out.  It's better to just say good things.  That's something I turned over a new leaf and it is sorta helping.  Why is this like bi polor?  I feel forgiven, but I can't keep going back to guilt beyond.  I just don't like it because I said I was sorry.  I'm too sick to go to church for confession.  I don't even want to tell the priest because I don't want to tell anyone.  What is it you want?  To be comfortable and not left out using curse words for fun?  Well that's what I was doing, but I can definitely quit and decided right away.