I just practiced my Celtic harp and organ on the keyboard.

The harp is waking me up.  My dad asked what kind of harp I want and I said Celtic.

Harp

I'm playing harp.

YAY my harp

Tuning it was very easy once I figured it out.  You just go along and quickly adjust the strings.

I can play the first tune.  I took a break and may go work out.  So I guess I'll be back around 9 P.M. but possibly later.

Orla Fallon

I was wondering how she could do theology because I didn't get anything in that class.  Both classes I took were just lectures and notes it seemed.

Her other major was music.

I miss the old days.

I wish we still lived in Winter Park and it was only 2005, not 2010.  Apparently I need more to get better.  *sigh*

I almost died - my heart

- from writing that batshit.  Just forgive me.  I can blame it on others.  I will still tend to it, but don't go insane because it's not life or death.  You can't go crazy about something like that.  I can't repeat it.  That is an example of going crazy or maybe excited to make fun of me when it's no one's business.  I'm not saying you can't be upset, but it might be too stressful.  Don't like go over crazy repeating it and stereotypical things to yourself.  All I had to do was be sorry, but others never are.  It's not literally hurting someone.  What I did might, but something funnier about it is it seems that the defendent might do something like it anyway.  It's dangerous if you think about this a lot.  You shouldn't even know.  If you did it's okay, but it's one of those times that seems quieter.  I don't know why I kept feeling the suggestion of these bad things so long.  If something is in my head, I have no intent to blurt it out.  So I am really sorry.  Wow I wonder if I will need a neck brace.  So I'm sorry, don't be violent.  Why don't you bring it up rather than hold it over me like someone immature?  I won't bring it up.  You should accept.  There is nothing to discuss.  My understanding is it's something that you don't care about saying about others.  I just am sorry and feel I am innocent in that I just thought no one would read it.  They would see it and leave because no one answers me neither like that.  I'm just concerned about people going crazy seeing what they can do with it.  I can't say something I don't approve of.  No one could have seen.  Why not answer me?  Rather than always holding a grudge.  You have to accept the apology rather than worship the sin.  The sin is me.  So as for me though I feel bad, but I think nothing will happen because I am pretty nice and not the causnig problem.  They have real problems out there, people.  Well okay let's see what happens after I go thru this and just keep feeling more and more and more to say.  I feel a little better because thoughts were getting crazy.  I just need not to say things people call bad but do anyway when I don't and don't do it unless it's in a cute snob sorta way.  I don't like doing that, sometimes think it's right, fun, not to picky nor apprehensive.  Etc.  You have to get things out in the right way.  I see no need to get anything out.  It's better to just say good things.  That's something I turned over a new leaf and it is sorta helping.  Why is this like bi polor?  I feel forgiven, but I can't keep going back to guilt beyond.  I just don't like it because I said I was sorry.  I'm too sick to go to church for confession.  I don't even want to tell the priest because I don't want to tell anyone.  What is it you want?  To be comfortable and not left out using curse words for fun?  Well that's what I was doing, but I can definitely quit and decided right away.

More

Well yea I still did it, but I can blame it on other things.  I know now.  I know I would never want to do that.  I didn't realize people care what you say even if no one necessarily reads it you know.

Okay so I apologized.

My neck got sore.  I will wait for people to read this and maybe get some feedback to make me stop feeling crazy like I am.

I'll keep checking in.

I feel safe here raning, but no one will answer and forgive me.  We even have to forgive murderers.  We have to feel sorry for accidents and what people think is stupidity.  Well it is.  I do say I'm stupid sometimes but not out loud so I don't sound like a bad influence.  I just want things to go smoothly with the use of certain things.  Before I kinda gave out that as the vibe, pressure to say something.  I hate that people want me to do something bad.  That's all my life is.  All I know is it's better now.  I feel so bad but more happy I do know not to do it ever again.  Also I didn't mean it if it counts.  ;)

Well I'm gonna enjoy myself and hope things start to patch up as to mistakes people make and what's really important.  Most people say worse things than this, so.  So, it's funny.  I'm not getting into it.

So sorry everyone.  I will post my further thoughts as to why things seem the way they do now.  I know if A didn't happen B wouldn't.  No one cared at the time neither.  No one knew.  I was always alone.  So I hope to get some feedback maybe on the matter.  I'm a little tired and will stop before I do something stupid from brain damage.  I do have some problems psychiatrically, schizophrenia or bipolor.  So that's my problem.  I need things like practice or assurance that I don't get.  I feel straightened out in that way.  What about why?  Then people have to admit they were mean to me and not to act stupid like they don't know why.  Why does that make me seem weak to have people treat me like I'm different?  That's what I think is why.  I'm not insinuating and don't need to answer to that.  I more blame everyone else for what I did.  People though who aren't involved you know and may not be the ones who did.  I'm not batshit crazy.

I'm doing better.

Why though did I feel like saying something?  I can't say what it is.  I don't know why I do that to learn, start where it's safe, where no one reads it.  But, I think it might had been read.  See I don't know.  I didn't expect it to be, no one should guess I did it.  They seem to though.  Nothing I do is sliding when I'm surrounded by people who aren't nice.  Sometimes you gotta let some steam out when people do things they aren't supposed to do anyway.

Outlet

I was unaware before about these things.  I feel like not doing it, but why do it at all?  Why would that feeling come to me?  So I did it when I thought no one would read it.  I do need to get things out, like why people don't talk to me and when they do why they try to take my time in a funny way.

I knew not to, but online I just feel I can't shy away from this.  People are violent to me sometimes in certain ways.  I think that covers that, no friends, posting online, being kicked out of things for no reason.  That happened a lot, so I felt worried about social danger.  People accept others being mean.  People don't let me slide, but how do they know things?  Ever see people looking at you funny?  There were some funny black women or one, but I met lots who were so nice.

Black People and Niggers

Black people shouldn't be allowed to say nigger.  It's stuck up.  At the hospital though they got in a fight and called each other niggers or one did.

I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I'm embarrassed because I see people do things they shouldn't do, and I wanted to use it in a different way.  I don't make up sick words, no hate.  I just act normal.  I shouldn't do things that would seem normal that aren't.

I don't care.

I don't care because see I know I get in trouble.  I just wish I could know that no one actually took the gay time to know.  It was a quiet seeming time when people would not read it and remember.  I don't know if like someone who is more alert reading did because I didn't get an answer ever.  So I don't know what it was.

Feeling the Guilt

I'm sure anyone wants to give me a lesson, but just think about what caused my discomfort.  I see people online insulting all the time, but I am never like that.  It might be problems with my English, I admit.  I don't want to say something that sounds stupid.

Insinuations

There are thoughts that go on when you do something, like for instance if your friend is mean to his or her parents, you will or will not be inclined to talk about either a them or b their parents.  I did say things annoyed me only about the actual people talking to me.

I barely remember I did these things.

I wish people would be catty with me because I won't and don't get mad before I say something to break the ice so to speak for I don't know why.  I often do this, not realize what I said.  So forgive me; I got better, woo-hoo.  Most people don't think they can be sorry for something so bad and always be hurt by it.  I can say it was a mistake though and that I'm just sorry and totally hate myself for thinking of things this way.

I don't see what's wrong if it's in fun, but most things are really serious.  They don't get mad at blatant bad people because they're scared.  It is true people don't care about me, in reality never cursing nor anything.  People just want things they don't want too.  I dunno!  I just want these things to be over, but why does it seem permanent?  Just forget it.  I do these things on the 2nd level by accident.  I don't remember the 3rd level of the brain that people have.

There's no getting out of this other than to accept this can be an apology because I want to doubt these were read.  What if they were?  I think they weren't except by people who can assume I have a mental condition.  I did go to the mental hospital, and now it's different.  I know what to do.  The police men came and said they were taking me somewhere to help me.  I got mad originally hitting my wall not too hard.  So if I can get that forgiven I'm in the clear.

Feeling Bad

Some things on the internet I was wondering if anyone happened to read.  It's the only way you'd know about it.  I have to admit though I just didn't get it because it wasn't as bad as people in real life who may or may not get in so much trouble not feeling sorry.

Garbage Men

I hear the garbage trucks making their stops.  It's a little freaky.  Just think some people just make a minimum wage.  I wonder where they work when they're older.

Shower

I just took a shower and where I shaved on my legs is still stinging.

My pores flushed out some whereas before it looked like whiteheads.

My dad goes back to work again because it's Monday.  Next movie we see is Cats and Dogs.  The pirhanna pne looks very interesting.  Last time we saw Nanny McPhee.  We bought the first one. I didn't even see High School Musical in theaters.  I don't remember for sure now if it was.

IMDb

Main Idea of Alice

by ChristinaAnnBarrettUS86   2 days ago (Fri Aug 27 2010 23:17:16)

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She's about 20 and is a young adult getting married. It was so cute showing a child for the representation of her when she's younger. She was in truth both childlike and mature. It's all very mysterious. She is about 5'6 with a smooth lanky demeanor. It would be nice to play someone younger than yourself as well. It's cute showing people who are around 16 like princesses as adults. When someone's older, it seems strange they have to act younger. I have a set of things I always play mature in my life. It's hard to tell what your age is. I consider myself post-teen adventurism and admitting teens are really babies. We grow as people thru to our 20s and 30s and thru to the 40s and mid life crisis. Sometimes people just need a makeover as well. I'm in my early mid twenties. I feel the same as when I was 12, just age wearing on. Nothing has happened like my butt getting wider, but I am recuperating from ballet. Pretty much is the freedom you find after you quit college.

127.proboards.com xchristinabarrettx.blogspot.com

Re: Main Idea of Alice   by dejm2001   1 hour ago (Mon Aug 30 2010 00:08:19) Ignore this User | Report Abuse You made very little sense. It is like reading the ramblings of a self involved and delusional individual. Also, all of what you said is not very well thought out.

Re: Main Idea of Alice   by ChristinaAnnBarrettUS86   1 hour ago (Mon Aug 30 2010 00:48:15) Well, there are no technical problems. So, the point is Alice is grown up now and goes back to Wonderland and sees characters from both books, some as a repeat. I'm not sure why it says I said my butt didn't get bigger, but that was an OT example. I guess you don't like that kind of writing, the reading material. My topic states it's just about what this movie is about. What this movie is about is Alice all grown up going back to Wonderland. She is still in her teens, but Disney shows grown up princesses at younger ages. However, I think Disney also thinks that younger people are younger than they seem in real life. I might be going OT with examples, but I'm not sure, like it would be nice if it were more organized. So it's short and simple, just with flavorful fruity fresh flesh. Other than her age though I'm not sure what the subplot is. It seemed to be a lot about the movie overall. I think if it were more mature it would be more nostalgic of the old days when things could still be waiting to happen. It just tells me what a failure real life is at this point. I've been a faithful follower of the movie being developed and don't see info. on Tim's new movies. I forget why I thought that and my afterthought. I am interested in sub main ideas of the film as well. So that's a new topic. I think it is strange that she uses Wonderland like an escape. Her fiance also has red hair like the Mad Hatter. The rabbit with the clock seems like a symbol. For instance also the red queen is very hilariously funny. She makes the movie so entertaining and apprehensive. I am interested as to why being a Tim Burton fan brings up discomforting outcomes in life, like I feel funny when I see Tim Burton's girl. There was this interview where someone called her his wife very recently. I did save it, but I don't know which it is and became disinterested. Unless, I didn't save it and lost it on an old YouTube. I just think Tim Burton is really cute and he doesn't seem flexible with certain things regarding the way he's used his time. It's hard to know if Tim has any ideas. He seems to feed off others and seems unprepared, and Johnny tries to do whatever he does. 127.proboards.com xchristinabarrettx.blogspot.com

Re: Main Idea of Alice   by ChristinaAnnBarrettUS86   1 hour ago (Mon Aug 30 2010 00:57:17) I would like to go back and make another post. So to be blatant about what I'm trying to process here, I didn't know if Tim Burton posts on here with socks, various accounts. But, I see no accounts with just a few posts on this movie. Ever since I thought that I grew paranoid when I saw Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, on YouTube. I didn't mean what I said completely, but just where it fits in. I should have said what I meant by not having something in advance ready. At least this is a better way to say something I notice blatantly. Johnny Depp seems to blame everyone for how he feels on set, like say why does he go thru and not address certain things, making the hour worthless. He's a great actor, but he doesn't handle many ideas at once. I don't need to elaborate. I'll simply move on to Helena Bonham Carter. I think she makes a more friendly statement if you really ever want to think about it. She unfortunately still is a minor under Tim and Johnny, and various other main characters. People find her unconvincing. Why of all the people in the world would Helena be special to Tim and no one else? I'm not saying it shouldn't be done. It could be, but what about the other people Tim will see. He has a strange thing about wanting to see what he internally dubs basically unattractive. He just wants to know one person and thinks anyone else is competition to get his attention, pretty freaky considering how much kids want him. 127.proboards.com xchristinabarrettx.blogspot.com

Re: Main Idea of Alice   by ChristinaAnnBarrettUS86   1 hour ago (Mon Aug 30 2010 01:00:47) UPDATED Mon Aug 30 2010 02:02:13 I noticed how my last sentences didn't go, but I don't think you're processing what I meant if you think it's a problem. I'd think it were funny had I been sitting here talking about myself instead of them. It was an obvious topic, my first sentence. The second is completely disconnected. Edit: It was actually my concluding main thought that summed up all I said and I went on to take care of something else without at all thinking about their being next to one another... Edit 2: I just realized no good can come from that. I'll delete it. Edit 3: Nevermind it feeds off being unprepared to meet mean people.

YAY!