I'll keep checking in.

I feel safe here raning, but no one will answer and forgive me.  We even have to forgive murderers.  We have to feel sorry for accidents and what people think is stupidity.  Well it is.  I do say I'm stupid sometimes but not out loud so I don't sound like a bad influence.  I just want things to go smoothly with the use of certain things.  Before I kinda gave out that as the vibe, pressure to say something.  I hate that people want me to do something bad.  That's all my life is.  All I know is it's better now.  I feel so bad but more happy I do know not to do it ever again.  Also I didn't mean it if it counts.  ;)

Well I'm gonna enjoy myself and hope things start to patch up as to mistakes people make and what's really important.  Most people say worse things than this, so.  So, it's funny.  I'm not getting into it.

So sorry everyone.  I will post my further thoughts as to why things seem the way they do now.  I know if A didn't happen B wouldn't.  No one cared at the time neither.  No one knew.  I was always alone.  So I hope to get some feedback maybe on the matter.  I'm a little tired and will stop before I do something stupid from brain damage.  I do have some problems psychiatrically, schizophrenia or bipolor.  So that's my problem.  I need things like practice or assurance that I don't get.  I feel straightened out in that way.  What about why?  Then people have to admit they were mean to me and not to act stupid like they don't know why.  Why does that make me seem weak to have people treat me like I'm different?  That's what I think is why.  I'm not insinuating and don't need to answer to that.  I more blame everyone else for what I did.  People though who aren't involved you know and may not be the ones who did.  I'm not batshit crazy.